SoMeTiMeS iT TaKeS a TeRrOrIsT tO PuT ThInGs InTo PeRsPeCtIvE....

Hey friends!!!

So, I know you've heard from me twice in the past week but I've been doing a lot of thinking this evening due to some unfortunate circumstances and need to get somethings out.....

Today, I had another unfortunate interaction with an individual that has been attempting to make life pretty hard this past semester.  By the time Andrew picked me up this afternoon, I was in tears and beyond frustrated at the situation.  Fortunately, I get to come home to a pretty great guy who makes things SO much better for me.....

But, I digress, this blog is about the terrorist after all.....and that's exactly what this post is about!  As I sat in the kitchen doing my homework while Andrew was in the living room on a skype meeting and Lana was in her kennel (due to indiscretions I'm not going to disclose at this time), I reflected on today's events.  I was upset, frustrated, annoyed, confused, and every other emotion that goes along with having to deal with a snarky, hurtful individual, but I happened to look to my left to see my big monster laying on her bed and, what we affectionately call, "tranqing" with her gorillas......and, in that moment I felt like I was hit with a brick and was completely overwhelmed by the love I have for her!

It never ceases to amaze me that something that can't speak a single coherent word can put life into perspective in an instant without even knowing it!  As I watched her tranquilize with her gorillas a flood of emotions swept over me and in that moment I realized, despite the hurtful events of the day, my life is full of so many blessings!  I have been blessed with a wonderful family, great friends, a super supportive and sweet guy, a puppy that always makes things interesting and is so darn cute and a big ol' shepherd that, despite the frustration, worry, anger, and annoyance she can cause, makes every single second of every single day worth it for me!

When Brear died last December 2nd, I never thought I could ever love something with the same unconditional love that I had for her but, God has been so good to me and blessed me with another shepherd to love with the same, if not more, unconditional love!  In some bizarre twist of fate, I have been blessed with two wonderful dogs that happened to have their lives cut short before the age of 3.  When I lost Mag I didn't think another dog would come along that I could love like I did him but then came along my Brearsy girl!  I loved her with every ounce of love I had to give and never imagined I would have to say "goodbye" before the age of 3, I just couldn't imagine that curse would strike again!  But, sometimes things go array for reasons we may never know or understand....and then enter Tier.

When I got Tier the wounds from losing Brear were still so fresh and I worried that I would resent her, always compare her to Brear, never think she was good enough.....boy was I wrong!  Tierney has been not just my dog but an angel on earth for me and is the perfect mix of Mag and Brear!  She has gotten me through some really difficult times when I have missed Brear to the point my heart felt like it was going to stop, when I wanted to lay down and give up on it all, when things seemed too scary and difficult to go on.....and, through each difficult situation she has always given me nothing less than 100% of her heart!  And, yet again, in a single instant this evening she has put things back into perspective and made me feel loved beyond compare, without ever uttering a single word!  Like I wrote above, it never ceases to amaze me the power of a dog's love and kindness.....if only us humans could realize the true beauty of what a dog's love is all about; we could really benefit from letting go of anger and loving more unconditionally!

As I sit here writing, with Tier by my side with one of her favorite toys in her mouth, I will leave you all with my favorite poem that, to me, embodies the true essence of my big shepherd, Tir Na Nog.....

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog,"
or "that's a lot of money for just a dog."
They don't understand the distance travelled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog,"
but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by
"just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch
of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you probably understand
phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship,
trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience
that make me a better person.
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long runs and look
longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog"
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts
away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that its' not "just a dog"
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being 
"just a man" or "just a woman."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog,"
just smile,
because they "just don't understand."    

CiAo,

TiEr & sHaNnOn

NeVeR a DuLl MoMeNt In ThE LiFe oF a MoNsTeR

Hey Friends....long time no see!?

I know I haven't written about the big monster in quite some time but it's been a busy fall/winter - grad school is beating me up, my research project keeps getting crazier, we're training for a marathon, I'm frantically trying to finish making my Christmas gifts.....oh, AND, Tier decided to throw us for a loop and develop a heart arrhythmia before her scheduled surgery which resulted in us spending an exorbitant amount of time at CSU's Veterinary Teaching Hospital (VTH)....we probably should just move in considering the amount of time we spend there, hope the rent isn't too expensive!! I know those are all lame excuses but it's the best I've got for right now!

So, I know many of you out there have asked what's been going on with Tier's heart and I've been pretty coy about the details but, it was up in the air there for a bit as to what we were potentially facing so I decided to keep the details within the immediate family until we knew what was going on.  Here is the rundown of what happened with the one who must always do things her own unique way....

Andrew and I scheduled "the girls" surgery for the same day to make sure they were both down at the same time....keeping the two of them from playing with each other is literally impossible so we figured if they had surgery at the same time then they could recover and NOT play together! We dropped the girls off at VTH on the afternoon of November 12th to spend the night and then have their surgeries the next morning. Of course, me being the big baby that I am, I was in tears before we even made it out to the car! We were called later that night and told that the girls were doing great and would be heading into surgery early the next morning. The vet student told us they were playing with each other and having a great time at the "hotel" and she would call us after the girls were out of surgery in the early afternoon.

The next morning around 10am I was sitting in lecture and happened to look down to see an unknown name calling. That unknown was Sara, a fourth year vet student and the one that was going to be doing her spay surgery.  She explained that when Tier was given the pre medications for her surgery her heart developed a supraventricular arrhythmia.  She told me that Cardiology had been called in and that they recommended pulling Tier from surgery because there could be a number of things wrong with her heart that could jeopardize her survivability through the surgery.  She told me she had called Andrew but that he hadn't picked up and that I needed to make a decision as to what to do within 20 minutes.  I hung up the phone and immediately started crying.  All I could think of was, "Why is this happening? I just lost Brear less than a year ago, how could something be wrong with Tier? She just ran 9 miles with us the other day and did great, how could she have a heart problem!?"

After I got myself back together, I tried calling Andrew about 100 times.  Of course, the girls were having surgery at the same time he has his weekly staff meeting....poor timing on VTH's part, but I suppose the world doesn't revolve around our girls even if I think it does! I also called my parents about 100 times to no avail! All I could think was, "What in the heck!? How the heck am I going to deal with this all on my own?" Ya, I can make it through all these crazy things alone like law school, moving to San Diego, passing the bar exam, etc, etc,.....but I CANNOT make it through making a decision about Tier's health on my own.....yep, I'm a wuss when it comes to that big ol' shepherd! I was finally able to get a hold of my dad but only through text messaging because his phone was broken.  He had just had his eyes dilated at the eye doctor and couldn't see any of my messages but had the wherewithal to know something was wrong by the numerous times I had called and sent me a message to meet him at the gym near CSU where my mom was working out. So, without even thinking, I headed out without picking up my computer, notebook, backpack, jacket, etc., in my lecture.....it's a good thing I have nice, honest friends who will take care of my things when I become MIA!!!

On the way to meet my parents, Andrew finally called me back and we decided together to pull Tier from surgery and set up a consult with a cardiologist.  When I got to the gym I had to pull my mom out of pilates and I won't ever forget her face when she saw me, I have never seen someone's face get that white that fast before! The three of us, my mom, dad and I, called Sara back and had her explain to my dad what exactly had happened.  My dad is a Physician's Assistant so he essentially translated all the specifics to me and gave me his recommendations regarding Tier's heart.  Fortunately, we were told that once they got her stabilized we could come pick her up and she could go home. Good news for us, bad news for the little beige one (Lana)....she does NOT like to be separated from her shepherd!  But, fortunately when we got to VTH that afternoon we were allowed to see Lana for a few minutes and set up the time to pick her up the next day!

After visiting Lana, we set up a consult with a cardiologist for the following Monday and we took the big monster home.  She was still heavily sedated and had to be monitored for 24 hours because her heart was still arrhythmic.  She loved having all the attention at home and she got to cuddle with her most favorite person in the world.....her "force cuddle" buddy Andrew!

FORCE CUDDLE.....she looks like she hates it, doesn't she!? ;)

The next Monday we headed to VTH for the consult with the cardiologist, of course, Tier was pumped to be back at VTH with lots of people and animals everywhere!  We were taken into an exam room with 3 vet students and asked extensive questions about Tier's history.  We were then left in the room by ourselves while the students went to present Tier's case to the cardiologist.  After about 30 minutes the cardiologist came into the room with the students and let us know her recommendations which included an echocardiogram, electrocardiogram and blood pressure test.  Once it was determined whether Tier had any structural defects in her heart then we would potentially have to put a Holter Monitor on her for 24 hours to determine how many irregular beats she has during a normal day.  After about 15 minutes of explaining, Tierney left with the doctors and Andrew and I went to have coffee while we waited for the first round of results.

After about an hour and a half the fourth year student called to let us know we could come back and the cardiologist would go over all the results.  We headed back to VTH to meet with the doctors and were met with great news....Tier does NOT have any major structural defects in her heart!! I was elated until the cardiologist then told us that there is a possibility she has an inherited disorder in the German Shepherds called sudden death syndrome. Yup, it is exactly what it sounds like.....the dog will die suddenly during their sleep from the same type of arrhythmia that Tier had developed during surgery!  My elation quickly turned to panic thinking that she might have this disease!  The next step was to fit Tier with a Holter Monitor for 24 hours and see how many irregular beats she has during a normal 24 hours at home.  After our consult we headed home with the big monster only to bring her back the next day to be fitted with the monitor....I told you, we practically live at VTH!!!

The next day Andrew took Tiers to VTH and they fitted her with a Holter Monitor.  We were told that we had to keep a diary of Tier's every move for the next 24 hours in order for the cardiologists to figure out what she does that potentially creates the irregular beats or when they occur the most frequent. She then got to hang out with him at the Air Force ROTC at CSU (his work) while I finished class and could come pick her up.  When we got home that day I made the mistake of opening the back sliding glass door that has a dog door in it.....Tier immediately went bolting outside with her Holter Monitor vest on and completely ripped the dog door out of the door frame!!! Never a dull moment with that crazy beast!

Rut roh...where's the dog door???

Holter monitor harness...

After 24 hours of wearing her vest, I took it off and brought it back to VTH for more waiting on results.  It takes about 24-48 hours to get results from the monitor and we were told they would call us as soon as they determined what occurred with her heart during the 24 hours.  On Thursday afternoon we were called by VTH and informed that Tier does NOT have sudden death syndrome and only experienced 1 irregular beat within a 24 hour period!!!!  I was so happy when I got the results I cried like a baby sitting in my office....fortunately I was the only one there and no one saw me acting like such a cry baby!!

After we got the results from the cardiologist, Tier was scheduled for the original surgery and went under on December 4th to have a spay and gastropexy.  The doctors called late in the afternoon, well past the time they said they would, and let us know that Tier made it through the surgery successfully but that she had to be monitored closely after it because she lost a lot of blood.  I swear, that darn terrorist can't make anything smooth sailing for anyone, she always has to throw a curve ball to keep life interesting!  The doctors also informed us that Tier's arrhythmia came back, however, it was brought on by the pain meds she was given and normalized once the pain meds wore off.  The culprit of the arrhythmia has been preliminarily determined as opioids in the pain meds, however, because it was an invasive surgery there is nothing they can do but monitor her on the meds and keep them to a minimum.  I swear that dog has always got to be causing some trouble wherever she goes and whatever she does, but I can't imagine it any other way with her!! And, I'm so thankful that she is spayed and has her stomach stapled to the side wall....now let's hope we can take a break from VTH!!! :)

On another note, Monday, December 1, was the one year anniversary of Brear's death.  The day was spent taking Tier and Lana to PT with Andrew's cadets in which Tier ran around for 50 minutes and popped 4 dodge balls belonging to the cadets! That's what they get for wanting Tyranny to come play with them, haha! I spent the next three days worrying about the monster during her surgery so I didn't have a ton of time to reflect on the past year without that big Shepherd in the sky.  However, Thursday night, after bringing our girl home, Andrew mentioned that we need to "force cuddle" her before bed.  I told him he needs to because that's his game with her....of course, being still a bit groggy from her surgery, she was quiet and just laid there while he cuddled her in her kennel.  I then decided it was my turn, climbed partially in the kennel and laid my head on her shoulders......and that's when the waterworks started!  I think there was so much pressure and my nerves were running high during the anniversary of Brear's death and Tier's surgery but when she finally was home and safe all that pressure and anxiety was released.  I laid on her shoulder for 20 minutes, crying the entire time and reflecting on the past year.

The past year has been full of heartache, love, frustration, laughter, sadness but most of all....pure unbridled joy and that joy has been the direct effect of spending the past year with my big ol' monster!  I think back to when I had Brear and how much joy she brought me and I think about the day she died and how I never thought I could ever love something with the same unconditional love that I did with her.....but, God sure does work in mysterious ways and I have, yet again, found another unconditional love that I cherish every single second of every single day!  As I've said (or written) before, "when one wonderfully beautiful journey ends, it opens the door for another of equal beauty to begin!"  And, I can say wholeheartedly that the past year has been beyond my wildest imagination and I can't wait to spend many more years to come with my goofy monster!

Well friends, now you know....the rest of the story!  Tyranny and I wish you all very happy holidays with your friends and family and a blessed year to come! And, to that big Shepherd up in the sky, "This past year has been difficult, I've missed you on every walk, on every run and every second of every day during the past year!  I'm so thankful for the time I got with you, for the laughter and love you brought to my life and for all the memories I have and I will never forget!  Rest in peace my sweet girl and thank you so much for the gift of Tier to watch over and take care of me!! I love you!!"

CiAo

TiErS & sHaNnOn